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Stupid Ways to Start a Speech (part 6)

Please bear with me.. 

This is going to be boring.. 

I'll be as quick as I can.. 

I know you are hungry.. 

I know you don't want to hear this.. 

The moment I hear the words "please bear with me".. I know something bad is coming. 

Stupid Ways to Start a Speech (part 5)

Any excuse.. 

I wasn't meant to be the one speaking to you today.. 

I didn't have time to prepare as much as I would have liked.. 

I only found out I was giving this speech last night.. 

I lost my notes.. 

I can't even count how many excuses I have heard as introductions.. please stop it!

Stupid Ways to Start a Speech (part 4)

I'm very nervous so please forgive me if I ... 

We don't need to know that, if we notice it ourselves fine, but don't point it out. Most nervous speakers relax after a few minutes and we'll forget you ever started that way.. If you don't point it out that is.

You are also telling the audience that you didn't care enough about them to 1. Get over your nerves, 2. Prepare so that you were confident about what you had to say, 3. Find a great opening line and use it. 

Stupid Ways to Start a Speech (part 3)

I was going to talk about.. 

Unless this is a clever ploy to introduce a subject we didn't expect and play with our subconscious then we (the audience) really don't care what you were going to say... or even worse we may wish you'd said it, and you have only given us a teaser.. 

"I was going to tell you this really amazing story about how I got here today, but I figured I should stick to the facts.."

(This would make me go arghhh, I always want to hear an amazing story over facts)

"I was going to start with a joke but I realized I wasn't funny.. " 

(thanks for pointing that out, now I really want to listen to you!)

You get the hint.. not the dramatic 'I must listen to this' audience reaction you want. 

Stupid Ways to Start a Speech (part 2)

Before I begin... 

“Before I begin...” - you have just begun, so you better make it good.  This isn’t the time to give out ‘housekeeping’ information such as where the bathrooms are, and where the coffee is - get someone else to do that. 

“Before I begin” can, however be used very cleverly, to catch the audience off-guard and subconsciously prepare them in some way...

 
“Before I begin, those of you that have come here today expecting me to say something that will change your life may as well leave now, my words cannot do that, only your actions can..:

“Before I begin, there are some people here who are just going to listen, going to nod and then go back to their lives and not change anything they do..”

Plan the start of your speech to grab the attention of the audience, and don’t get sidetracked by any other openings. 

Stupid Ways to Start a Speech (part 1)

Can you hear me? 

So many speakers prepare wonderful introductions for their speeches and then, when they get in front of an audience they start with “Can you hear me?” 

This is not the dramatic start you intended is it? (it may be if you are giving a presentation about hearing aids). 

You never need to ask this question - you will know by the audience reaction if your voice is loud enough. If they can’t hear you, they wouldn’t hear you ask the question anyway. 

If you are in a room that is big enough that there is really a chance that your audience can’t hear you, then you should be using a microphone. If you are using a microphone you should have tested it when you arrived in the room at least an hour before your speech.